Mia has run track for three years. We have watched her grow as an athlete and become a better person during that time. Although we might not have agreed with every decision her coaches made, overall they have done a good job.
And then Mica joined.
She does shot and discus. Over the summer she did very well in those events in the Junior Olympics with another coach. Once she started throwing for the school, it seemed like she got worse instead of better. The throwers practice in a different field than the runners and have a different coach. We would drive by and watch a couple of times a week. It seemed like it was more of a social gathering than a practice. There might be one or two kids throwing, but most of them were sitting around talking and laughing with music playing in the background. Once, Mike was watching her throw [standing outside of the fence] and the coach sent Mica over to tell him that he wasn’t welcome and that practices were closed.
School gets out at 4:00. Mia is done with practice at 5:30. We pick Mica up at 6:30. The logic behind the longer practice is based on the number of kids that need to get attention. It isn’t like running where all the kids can run on the track at the same time. They need to take turns with equipment. Mica started asking to stay later. She was told that in order to make varsity, she needed extra time after practice with the coaches. We let her stay once, but it didn’t sound like she did a whole lot while she was there. Plus, the idea of a freshman girl staying out for hours with a male coach makes me uncomfortable.
We didn’t like what we saw at practice. In fact, Mike was constantly complaining about it. I thought that it was bad, but maybe not as bad as he thought. After all, there are dozens of throwers, two rings and only one coach. They had a volunteer that came out to help, but we didn’t like him much either. He was always joking around and acting like a friend, rather than a coach.
Yesterday, the news reported that the volunteer coach was charged with molesting a student. Today, he admitted it. This makes me sick. According to court records, he “admitted to knowing that what he did was wrong and that it got to the point that he could not control himself.” And that is a big part of the problem. There should be a distinct line drawn between teacher and student, coach and athlete. Once you start blurring that line and becoming more social, it is hard to stop. The point is not to start down that road. This is far too common. In fact, I’ve written about it before.
What are your thoughts? Do you feel like your kids are safe at school? What, if anything, do you do to prevent things like this from happening to your kids?
Saturday we traveled to El Paso to watch the girls compete in their track meet. Mica made the JV squad and threw the discus 66 feet, her personal best. Mia ran two relays: the 4×1600 and the distance medley. In both events she ran a mile, or four laps around the track. Supporting her decision to keep running has been difficult for me. Mike thinks I baby her too much [but technically he thinks I baby all the kids too much]. He thinks we need to help her push through the pain because this is a condition that is chronic. She will be dealing with it for the rest of her life. The last thing I want is for her to give up, but it is SO HARD to watch her suffer.
Right now, her pain is constant but manageable. Some days are better than others, but it hasn’t been debilitating EXCEPT when she runs. During/after each race, her back starts to spasm and she experiences extreme pain. Also, the tenderness to touch that she deals with every day worsens. Even the lightest pressure on her skin hurts. Mia was always the kid that would finish the race with a smile and bop around like she hadn’t done a thing. Everyone would comment on how easy it seemed for her. Now, the last leg of the race is just an excuse to cross the finish line and collapse.
One problem she has is that what she needs is the exact opposite of what is normally done for the runners. If an athlete crosses the line and falls to the ground, they are pulled to their feet and walked around. The trainers rub their backs and shoulders and apply ice to sore muscles. When Mia falls down, it is because her back is spasming and most of the time she can’t talk. She shakes her head when something hurts too bad. We know this, but the people on the field don’t always get it.
After taking this video, Mike and I rushed down to the field. We told them to let her lay down. After about five minutes of deep breathing and stretching out her back she felt much, much better. Her coaches know about her condition, but trainers from other teams at other schools don’t. We have to work with Mia to help her find a way to communicate what she needs. She doesn’t like to draw attention to herself; she doesn’t want to be different. I have a feeling this is going to be a long hard journey for her, but I’m proud of how hard she tries not to let it change her life.
“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.” Lance Armstrong
When we took Mia to Kansas to compete in the National Junior Olympic Cross Country Championship, Mica took the opportunity to interview her sister. She wrote up an article for her journalism class. The teacher liked it and asked to publish it in the school paper. Mica was so excited. We waited and waited for the issue to come out. I could tell something was wrong when she walked in the door. They had published the article, but it had someone else’s name on it. She was crushed. Mica has always enjoyed writing and she worked really hard on this piece.
She talked to the teacher about it. We were hoping that they would print a correction in the next paper. Instead, they printed it in the Mayfield Messenger, a newsletter that is mailed to the parents of each student. We got it yesterday and you should have seen Mica’s face. She lit up! The newsletter is folded in half and stapled together and they put her article so that it shows up on the outside. I’m really proud of her.
For the next few months, every weekend will be spent at a track meet. Mia is running and Mica is throwing, so we will be busier than ever. Please bear with the ‘proud momma’ pictures and posts to come…
We made it! After fifteen hours of travel time over two days, we arrived in Salt Lake City for the Regional Junior Olympic Cross Country Championship. Only minutes after arriving, we were already in trouble with the locals. Apparently, many people who live in Utah happen to be Mormon and they take things a bit more seriously than say…. Mike does. While the kids walked the course, one of the other dads took out a cigar. Just to be safe, Mike asked the event coordinator if it was okay. It was not.
This is where Mike and I differ. I am much more willing to go with the flow and avoid a scene. When in Rome, or in this case Utah, do as the Romans do. Mike is the complete opposite. He will do something he doesn’t really want to do out of spite. You might say he has a problem with authority, unless he is the one in charge. Once, he was running a two million dollar job at a Mormon church and they caught him chewing tobacco. You should ask him about that one. To make a long story short, he was thrown off the job. So, it didn’t surprise me at all to find him laughing it up behind the portable toilets and puffing on a cigar.
All joking aside, we are nervous and excited for tomorrow. There are eight kids from Las Cruces running. Five of the boys are on a team in the intermediate division. One boy is running in young men and both of the girls are in young women. So, we’ll have three races to watch tomorrow starting at 12:30. Wish my baby luck and I’ll let you know how it goes.
The top twenty finishers in each division and the top three teams qualify for nationals.
