Science Night
Thursday the elementary school hosted its annual Science Night. This is something that the kids look forward to every year. All of the science fair projects are lined up in the hall. [You can ask Bleu about humidity in the air vs. underground!] The library is set up with lots of hands on stations where the kids can learn about different concepts, make things or do puzzles. It is a good time all around, but the highlight of the evening is what happens in the back of the school.

Kids line up in the cafeteria and craft rockets out of paper. Outside, they line up to get their rockets blasted with an air compressor and run to catch them. Seriously, an hour and a half just isn’t long enough! Click here to see a video of Echo with his rocket.

Track
Last night, Mayfield hosted the track meet here in town at the Field of Dreams. Mia ran three races: 3200m, 800m and 1600m. We watched the first on together and then went home. I came back to the track for the other two. She was having a bad day yesterday and her times were off by 10-20 seconds. After the last race she dropped down and stayed down for a long, long time. I couldn’t help crying but didn’t rush onto the field this time. She doesn’t want the attention. Even though I know she’ll be all right eventually, it hurts to watch her crying twenty feet away and not be able to go to her. She came in 3rd in the 3200m, 8th in the 800m and 4th in the 1600m.

She is worried about not being able to compete at state if she has a bad day. She doesn’t want to come in last or disappointing her coach/team. What can I say? There isn’t a whole lot we can do to control it so I hope she can relax and just enjoy the experience without putting too much pressure on herself. Click here to see a video of Mia in the 1600m.

Good, Bad and Ugly
Mica has had a hard semester. She hates math and hasn’t been doing well in her honor’s math class. She trys to avoid studying when she needs to do more of it. Lately it feels like every time we talk to her it is something negative. I hate that. Yesterday we got a letter in the mail from the principal letting us know that Mica will be getting an award next week at the underclassmen awards assembly. It was a wonderful surprise. I have no idea what it is for and neither does she. Suspense!

She called her mom to invite her and Julie agreed to go. She told the girls she would come by the house so they waited in the yard all night. She never showed up and when they called she didn’t answer the phone. It’s just a little thing but all these little things add up and I worry about their ability to trust. You can only be disappointed so many times before you begin to get jaded. It’s hard because I love them so much. I really wish she would be more involved because they need her.

On Christmas Eve, we went to my mother-in-law’s house for the lighting of the luminarias.  Every year, her whole neighborhood lights them and it is a beautiful tradition.  I wanted to drive through Mesilla to see their display and look at Christmas lights, but all the kids were under the weather so we went home.

Christmas was a lot of fun this year.  We were scrambling at the last minute to make it happen, but it all came together.   Somehow things always work out for the best.  We sent the kids to the dollar store with money to buy things for each other.  That way, they would each have a lot of little gifts to open.  I was very impressed by what they chose, especially Bleu.  He gave very thoughtful presents.  Each one included two items that he thought they would really enjoy and a few pieces of candy to make it fancy.  It is nice to see him [and all of the kids] putting some effort into making other people happy.

Here is a rundown on the best presents: Mia/clothes, Mica/skateboard, Mikal/globe, Bleu/chemistry set, Butterfly/spinners, Jon/skateboard, Echo/tricycle, Mom/Diana+ and Dad/safe.

We went to the skate park so that I could try out my new camera and the kids could try their new skateboards.  My sister came over for a few minutes with a new camera!  It was so nice.   She took this picture of Jon, which I love.  He wasn’t feeling well and spent the last two days in bed with a fever.  I don’t think he was 100% better, but he was determined to be well for Christmas.

There were a few minor glitches.  Mica and Mikal went to their mom’s for a few hours and Mica came home with a new phone.  It was very nice [and expensive looking], but she said her sister ‘found’ it in a parking lot and took the sim card out.  This is just another example of the difficulty we have when the two families have different value systems.  When they found the phone, it was ‘Yay!  Free phone!’.  My thought was that they should have called someone on the contact list and tried to find the owner.  If that didn’t work, they should have turned it in to the lost and found at the store where they found it.  If I lost my phone I would want someone to do the same.  We told her she had to give it back to her sister, but I have a feeling the phone won’t make it back to the original owner.

Later, we went back to Mike’s mom’s house for menudo, posole, green chile stew and homeade tamales.  I love this time of year!  The food is fantastic.  I have a ham waiting in the fridge that I need to make tonight.  We had so much food left over yesterday that I didn’t even cook Christmas dinner!

I am beyond thankful for the past year.  I have a husband who loves me and lots of kids who are healthy and happy.  We are incredibly lucky.  I am also grateful for you, my readers and friends.  I love sharing  my life with all of you.  Thank you for being a part of it!

Leah wrote [a heartbreaker] about the difficulties of managing kids when you have two families, two households, two moms… I’ve been trying to back off of the blended family issue on this blog, but that doesn’t mean that it is any easier. As hard as it is to be a mom, it is even harder to be a step mom. Not only do I have to worry about the kids and what is best for them, there is another adult whose feelings and rights I need to take into account. I wish that Mike’s ex had the same sort of attitude that Leah does. I wish that she cared about what is best for the girls. I wish that she wanted them to be safe and secure. At this point, I would be happy if she would just talk to Mike about things. But, as my grandma used to say: if wishes were horses then beggars would ride.

While the girls were with her, they moved their aunt to a new house. Mica helped to pack up her cousin’s room. Keep in mind that Mica and her cousin are the same age: 14. FOURTEEN. Mica was complaining about how dirty and disgusting the room was. She also mentioned this ‘really weird’ thing in her closet: a long hose with ‘that thing we use to change the oil’ on the end. The worst part [!] was that her cousin used it to DRINK BEER [!] and it smelled ‘really, REALLY bad’ [!]. It seems that alcohol and drinking were big topics while they were there. Their mom was drinking while driving them around. Hello, open container! When the girls asked for the cell phone to call us, Julie refused to let them have it. According to Mica, she told them that they were ‘too sheltered’ and ‘didn’t know how to have a good time’. Hello! They are TWELVE and FOURTEEN. A ‘good time’ should be a trip to the mall or seeing a movie with friends. Since when does partying with your mother and getting plastered [while still in middle school] constitute a ‘good time’?

Do I sound upset? Because I am. It has been a couple of days and I’m still fuming.

Are you ready for the good news? With school starting next week, I’m gearing up for a huge cleaning/organizing spree. As soon as the kids are back in school, I am tackling this house and taking no prisoners. It will be clean. It will be organized. It will be a well oiled machine that serves me instead of a cluttered monster that wants to bite my head off. I told Mike that this week I’m going to kick back and enjoy being lazy. He surprised me with a trip to Las Vegas! He got a free trip a while back, but I didn’t think we would actually use it. The kids will get a mini vacation at grandma’s house and we will get a three day, two night romantic getaway.  Perfect timing!  I need a little one-on-one time with my husband.

Blogs, especially ones as personal as mine, are tricky. Where should the line be drawn between honesty and privacy? Everything that I write on this website is true, but it isn’t the whole truth. I’ve made a decision to share my life online, but I don’t presume to make that decision for others. Sure, I’ll tell stories about friends and family, especially funny ones. BUT, if I believe that someone would be offended or hurt or embarrassed, I don’t write about it. The only exception to this has been my struggle with Mike’s ex and her behavior towards the kids. I don’t write about the many, many choices she makes in her own life for herself and the kids she has with her. But when her behavior spills into my life and hurts the children that I spend every single day taking care of and loving… well, sometimes I blog about it! However, for everything I write there are hundreds of things I don’t write.

I don’t write about sex. I don’t write about my extended family and their dramas. I try not to write about money. I don’t write about anything in my marriage that Mike would consider private. And I don’t write about other people’s children, especially if they don’t know/approve. There are a lot of kids in my life. We have our eight plus a daughter-in-law and a grandchild. Julie has two more children. Mia has a baby sister. What is the point? Well, a few weeks ago Mike took a DNA test to find out if he is the father of another child.

I didn’t want to say anything because it really isn’t any of my business. The relationship happened years before I met Mike. The boy is the same age as Mica and from everything I’ve heard it was a hard situation for everyone involved. Over the years we’ve run into them from time to time but it never seemed like she wanted Mike to be a part of her son’s life. I have asked Mike many times to request a DNA test because I want to know. If my kids have a brother out there, I think they all deserve to know each other. When we were served with papers to go to court, I was happy. Relieved. Excited to know the truth once and for all.

Mike has chosen to wait for the results of the test before doing anything. As his wife, I respect his decision. So. Here we are. Waiting. The only reason I’m talking about this now is because I received a message from the mother yesterday:

I’m sorry that you can’t say anything about your husband’s other child Michael on your blog. He graduated at Picacho on Tuesday too.

There was no way for me to return the message as it was sent anonymously through my contact form, so I’ll post my response here:

Cecelia,
I saw Michael walk down the isle to receive his certificate. I cheered for him. After the ceremony, I made a point to congratulate you both. He is a handsome boy and you should be very proud of him. I don’t know you personally. I don’t know what happened fourteen years ago, but I don’t care. Whether Mike turns out to be Michael’s father or not doesn’t really matter to me. Every single child is special and comes into this world for a reason. If the results prove that Mike is the father, I will welcome your son into our lives with open arms. My only regret will be that it didn’t happen sooner. I’m thankful that I was able to see him graduate. Please don’t assume that I don’t care just because I don’t write about him here. I wish you, your son and the rest of your family nothing but the best.

**[edit] There is no reason for this to be anything other than positive.  All the parties involved made the best choices they could at the time.   I reserve the right to delete any negative comments posted here.