It was hot. We played in the water. The end.

Not really the end, because a storm came. It hailed. The storm tore off screens and broke two windows. It was all very exciting and dramatic.

Submitted to Thematic Photographic: Summer

my dad

“What is history? An echo of the past in the future; a reflex from the future on the past.” Victor Hugo

This morning I stepped on a black widow. Barefoot. As soon as I did, I felt immediate pain and feared the worst. I went back to the time I got bitten by a black widow as a child camping. Overwhelmed by fear, I could feel the venom moving through my body, carrying the pain with it. That was one of the scariest times in my life. I was in the hospital, but I don’t know how long. I remember my stomach being as hard as a board. I remember pain. I remember the excitement of getting a tv brought to my room and the disappointment when the only channel was showing tennis matches all day. Wimbledon.

I’m sick, but it’s nowhere near as bad as that first experience. Nausea, vomiting, headache, muscle pain. My stomach does NOT feel like a board, though. Rather than attempt any major housework, I’m sitting down going through boxes. Old photos. Memories. History. I found this photo of my dad in a scrapbook I started for him. There are dozens of fabulous black and white photos from his youth.

I also found the letter I wrote to my mom tattling on my brother. I blogged about it two years ago, almost to the day. That post broke my heart because two years have gone by and not much has changed between the girls and their mom.  Another day, same old drama.

I’m very proud of the girls. They have had to deal with so many bad things, but they never stop caring. Even when they have to protect themselves, they find a way to keep their mom in their hearts and lives. After everything they have been through, it would be completely understandable for them to cut ties and move on without her in their lives. Everyone would understand. But they choose to love and forgive. I hope she appreciates the gift she has been given.

for Lens Day Challenge: History

Not including ours, we have three bedrooms and six kids at home. Ideally, that would mean two kids to a room. Mikal and Butterfly have shared a room for years and they get along very well. Theirs is always the cleanest room, organized and inviting.  Bleu and Jon share a room and theirs is always a mess. Sometimes I think that boys are born without a sense of smell and that’s why they don’t care about the rotting food they hide behind desks and the stinky underwear stuffed in the back of the closet. That left Mica and Echo to share a room, which was a complete disaster. For the past few months, Echo’s dresser has been in the living room and he has been sleeping on a (very comfy) couch in the office attached to our room.

I’ve been putting off changing up the rooms because it is a ton of work and I’m a little scared. My fear is that the new arrangements might end up even worse than the status quo. Just before the air conditioner bit the dust, I decided to bite the bullet and turn the house upside down. Mica and Mikal are now in one room, Bleu and Echo in another and Butterfly and Jon are going to share the room with  twin beds. They are only a year apart and have always been close so hopefully it will work out.

At the same time, I emptied the office in our room. I’ve done so much moving and cleaning and organizing in the past few days; it isn’t even funny. I’ve been going through books and papers and boxes galore. I found tons of old pictures, including these. I made this photo ring for my grandpa in 2001.  I love that I included pictures of the kids, the house, our vehicles. It is like a little time machine. As soon as I get some more film, I think I’ll make another one. Maybe next spring… ten years later.

When I first saw this camera, I knew I had to have it. Thanks to ebay, I was able to get the camera, some lomography slide film and my book for summer school for less than the cost of the book alone at NMSU. That was the 27th of June (and yes, I’m keeping track). I had to wait for delivery (from Korea!) so my patience was already wearing thin. As soon as I got it, I started taking test shots: low light, bright light, still shots, moving subjects, moving camera, etc.  How exciting!

The problem was getting the pictures from my camera to my computer. I usually take my film in to Walgreens but they won’t cross process slide film. The only place that I know of in town that will do it is PDQ. The problem (of course there has to be a problem) is that I only have about $10 in spending money for the week. PDQ will process the film for less than $4 but the last time I had film scanned there it was insanely expensive. So my plan was to develop the film, have them sleeve it long and take the negatives to Walgreens or Walmart to get scanned.

Now might be a good time to mention that our air conditioner broke last night and it is the middle of the SUMMER in NEW MEXICO.  Also, our van doesn’t have air conditioning so every time I have to do errands it feels like I’m driving in an Easy Bake Oven. I blame the heat for my lack of good humor.

After ten minutes looking for a parking space and unloading my little monster, we discovered that Walmart’s photo lab was closed for maintenance. Grrr… We drove to Walgreens. The lab tech held my film between two fingers like it was tainted.

“What’s wrong with it? The color is all wrong.”
“It’s slide film. I had it cross processed and need it scanned to a cd.”
“We don’t process slide film.”
“I know. That’s why I took it to PDQ. I just want you to scan it.”
“You don’t understand. We don’t process slide film. I’ll have to send it off.”
“It’s already processed. I just want you to scan it.”
“You don’t understand. Slide film ruins our machines.”
“Your scanner? I’ve had slide film scanned here before.”
“No. That’s impossible. The machine doesn’t take slide film, only 35mm.”
“This is 35mm.”
“No. This is slide film.”
“It’s 35mm slide film that has already been processed. I just want you to scan it.”
“We don’t do slides here.”

OMG.
He finally said that he would keep it and get a manager to authorize it because he didn’t want to be responsible for the inevitable breaking of the machine. I practically had to grab it out of his hands. I decided to drive to the other Walgreens, the one by my house, the one with really great people who always remember me and never question my odd requests. The main road between the two stores was closed down and I had to drive in circles several times. At this point, I was really losing my cool. We were on back streets and traffic was at a standstill. We finally made it to the top of a little hill and I looked down just in time to see the medivac helicopter flying away from what must have been a very bad accident.

Suddenly, my frustration with everything went out the window. Things could be so much worse. I am incredibly grateful that I’m here and able to complain about the heat. I’m grateful that my family is healthy enough to annoy me. I am grateful that I was met with a smiling face at the second Walgreens and that they scanned my film right away.

Life is beautiful.

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” St. Francis de Sales

My first roll on flickr: set | slideshow

My sister-in-law served these on the 4th of July and let me tell you… I couldn’t stop thinking about them.  They are super easy.  Just cut the peppers in half and clean out the seeds. I decided to add my own twist on it and put a pinch of sugar and some garlic powder in the cream cheese.  Stuff the peppers with cream cheese, wrap with bacon and put them in the oven until the bacon is done. The last minute or two I turned on the broiler to crisp up the bacon.  Wow!  It turned out great.  I ate all these myself. It was the first time I’ve made them but it was definitely a success.